It has come to my attention that some of you may be scoffing at me for the organic food idea. I think this may be a possibility because I encounter that quizzical look people give you any time I mention it. You know, the one that points a finger and mouths, “Crazy hippy extremist.” Last evening I attended my book club meeting and received a full round of these looks. At one point near the end (while innocently sampling some cake), I quietly mentioned to the ladies that I was considering going organic. My answer? First, a loud and full scoff from one (who for some reason already seems to think I’m an idiot), and disparaging laughter from a few of the others. At most, I usually receive only half-scoffs and a slight-turn-the-head-away as if I can no longer be looked at full-on. The full scoff accompanied by intelligent toss of the head from a woman who I respect was hard to take.
The second part of my answer consisted of a completely unrelated comment about how bedbugs and cockroaches are coming back because we’ve stopped using DDT. Shock and horror! They’ve even made it to Alaska! Apparently, even the far north has been infested. I dislike both bedbugs and cockroaches. I don’t want them sleeping with me. However, I also don’t want to be bedmates with cancer. But to tell you the truth, I have no plans to ingest DDT or cockroaches, so why was this even a part of the conversation?
I found myself in a situation so preposterous that I was actually mute. Therefore, if you don’t mind, I’ll say to you what I wish I could have said to the others. If you’ll remember, I grew up on a farm. Whenever the crop-duster plane would come out, flying low in the dusty blue sky and depositing great vats of chemical from its belly, my mother would hastily herd me indoors. I think we were done using DDT at that point as a country, but my mom still didn’t want me hanging out in a chemical field. Thanks, mom. I appreciate your common sense and lack of scoffing laughter. Though why it was okay to put chemicals on our grain and the hay that would feed our cattle—which we would then ingest— I can’t quite figure out. It is not my intention to be some extremist who can’t enjoy herself in a restaurant. I’ve never yet tried any wheat-grass smoothies because it sounds distinctly un-tasty. But I will if I have to—and I think I do.
Okay, I’m done. You may scorn me now. Scoff on your own if you want, but please don’t write your scoff in a comment box!