In which our Lady’s Mother-in-law Flies in from “The Lower 48.”
Dear Mother-in-Law Dianne,
Please don’t ever leave me again. I will admit that my reasons are mostly selfish. For the last month and a half of your Christmas vacation, I have had to beg for rides from people all over this side of town. People are willing, but I am so tired of asking. The last few weeks, I decided to quit asking and I just stayed home all day long every day. BOR.ING. I am also very tired of having no relief from my child. She’s cute, but she gets antsy when she can’t leave the house. Oh, and have I told you yet that after you left Eva would periodically run up to the door whenever she heard a sound outside and expectantly say “Grammy?” Apparently, I just don’t cut it. But for now I will push my jealousy aside and express gratitude for your willingness to do so much for my family. Please, don’t leave for the rest of winter. I may die in your absence, if my daughter doesn’t expire first.
P.S. Thanks for driving me to my hair-cut appointment tomorrow morning at 11:30. I’ll see you here at 11:20?