Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Launch: Paranoid Much?

In which our Heroine gazes back.  

For Christmas, Jon and I borrowed a friend’s computer video camera so we could skype with family.  I’m sorry to say that the skyping did not work, and now all we have is the little camera sitting a-straddle our computer monitor as the residue of our non-conversation. 
It kind of freaks me out. 
The socially-smart side of me would like to tell you all that my paranoia fixation is an intelligent fabrication meant to bring out frivolous discussion and smart-alecky conversation.  These are worthwhile reasons all on their own but the little eye-shaped lens staring at me right now is proving its point: I am a paranoid freak at heart.  I’m telling you, the little thing follows me around the room.  My eye is unnaturally drawn to it.  I find myself focusing in on it regularly, and trust me—the white wall over the top of my computer screen is not normally one of my eye-resting spaces. 
It’s pretty clear that I’ve been watching too many Pixar films.  I can easily imagine it sprouting legs and spidering off into corners unknown (where Russian/Iraqi spies lurk, obviously).  I can imagine its little round eye hole suddenly blinking at me.  I can even imagine it recording my life.  Not that there’s anything of a mystery left about me after all this blogging, but talk about freaky right? 
And so I launch a series of blog posts about surveillance and its accompanying freakiness.  You would think that all this supposed or imagined surveillance would implant me with a desire to perform well for the camera.  Instead, I find myself longing for insurrection and subversive behavior.  I can’t help it.  I have an over-active imagination. 

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