Friday, January 7, 2011

Confessions of a Hypocrite

In which our Lady confesses. 

First: to my sister-in-law Jenni,
          I’m sorry you had to take a taxi home from the airport yesterday because I can’t drive yet.  Seizures are really lame.  I can’t wait until I can legally drive again.
          Bust most of all, Jenni, I ask forgiveness for my incredible hypocrisy. 
Yours in Apology,
          Second: Only a few hours after explaining my regret to Jenni for not being able to drive her home from the airport, I got fed up with relying on my exhausted and unwilling husband to drive me around.  I announced to him that I intended to take the car out to rent a movie for myself (because obviously it was a matter of life and death).  To my surprise he complied readily.  I grabbed the keys and went to my local redbox to rent Eclipse.  Yep, you read that right.  For what did I risk my driver’s license and my honesty?  Why, for something totally worthwhile, respectable, selfless, and up-building of course.  Yes, for the sake of a simple-minded, teenage love story about vampires and werewolves, I broke the law and took the car out for an illegal spin.  Great. 
          On a positive note, I felt really happy and little wild to be doing it.  I could feel an involuntary bubble of laughter seeping out of me as I backed the car down the drive-way.  Yes, I do know my class of rabble-rousing is pathetic, but I completely enjoyed my small moment of hedonism.  Never mind that I got stuck behind a snow plow nearly the whole way there.  I was so dizzy with my sense of driving-freedom that I hardly noticed how the hulking yellow machine exactly 50 feet in front of me was muffling my ‘wild’ ride into the night.  By the way, still team Jacob.


  1. Hahaha! That's hilarious! Do you know that Jen, JP and Angelica still all refuse to read Twilight?! The ignorance!

  2. Maybe you should make the "you're missing an important part of pop-culture" argument. Remind them that their kids will think they're lame for not participating in the biggest thing of our time--it's not like they have to take a tour in Forks or anything...