Wednesday, November 17, 2010

What Aristotle Didn't Know About Philosophy

In which our Lady becomes Philosophically inclined. 

10 philosophical questions on the meaning of life, the universe, and everything that’s in it:
1.       Why do children think that if they go around a corner really fast that they will escape punishment?
2.       Why is throwing food on the floor so important for small people?
3.       Do I dare to believe that my child will someday become a prized scientist because of her super-ability at high-chair based food experimentation?
4.       Is crying really just a way to make parents deaf sooner, or have we been duped into thinking that it’s an important form of emotional expression to the nearly wordless?
5.       Why do cookies seem to solve all problems for both the young and the old(er)?
6.       Is bedtime necessary for the child or for the parent?
7.       How can tired mothers make folding the same laundry for the third time around more fun and wholesome for everyone?
8.       Why is the idea of writing all over walls and counter-tops so enticing? (Important notion: pencil lead is for the child, the eraser is for the parent) 
9.       How ethically wrong is it if I leave and go to the Bahamas?
10.   Now?
Syllogism: Aristotle came up with this nifty little piece of logic, carefully designed to help flailing humans  answer deep-seated theoretical  inquiries.  His syllogism runs like this:  Man is mortal.  I am a man.  Therefore I am mortal.  I hereby remake Aristotle’s landmark contribution.  Mom’s are tired.  I am a mom.  Therefore I am tired.  Or, much to my groundless relief: Brilliant children are disobedient.  My child is disobedient.  Therefore she is brilliant.  Gee, I feel better already.  Aristotle knew that philosophy would solve everything.  Thank you so much, great man that you are.


  1. A person with more than one kid is crazy. I have 2 kids. I am crazy.

  2. By this definition my baby may also be a genius.