Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Say Nothing

In which our Heroine begins again.

When I quit writing my blog in June, I determined that I would only let it lie for the duration of summer because I was so busy learning how to garden (among other things).  When fall came, I found that my “summer projects” could be taken indoors.  I continued the autumnal bliss of harvesting, and even seed-planting, near sunny windows for several months.  When my enormous tomato plants somehow got outdoor bugs while inside the house, I threw them out.  I thought to myself: “is it time to blog again?” But then I bought some shop-lights and began lettuce and herbs beneath them.  At this juncture, I told myself that I would surely begin writing again soon.  Goals notwithstanding, the blog dwindled into near-nothingness.  Christmas began to creep closer, and—literally—that’s all she wrote.  At least for a good long while.

But today, I finally logged in and checked my stats.  To my surprise, people are still reading—not too often or regularly—but still.  I got a handful of nice comments on past posts, and even a request for further contact from a person in like situation.  I notice too that my most popular post is the one on the anti-convulsant that I take called Keppra.  I hope to write more on this at a later date.  Besides my continued readership, I do want to continue writing because there are times when I am fairly bursting with literary energy.  I have a lot to say.

 In addition to the nice comments of which I spoke earlier, I am also the privileged recipient of a few very nasty ones, which were obviously meant to hurt me personally.  For a few moments after reading these, I felt my heart as a bloody cut of red meat served on a spiked platter.  I had written what I thought were—and still believe to be—truthful memories.  I am sorry that some disagree.  I did not mean to hurt anyone.  These “anonymous” comments are now deleted.  I respectfully ask that those commentators keep their cutting remarks to themselves in the future.  Please do not soil my efforts at creative therapy.  In return, I will make an effort at increased discretion.  I have removed these two apparently controversial posts.  For those of you who liked the posts and wanted to see more, I apologize and thank you for your support.  To all of you, both friend and foe: I don't consider this a defeat.  I merely do not want these meanies and all their small-hearted friends coming to my blog for any reason.  Moral of the story: Sometimes its best to say nothing at all. 

Saying “nothing at all” is really hard for me.  But in the unenviable choice between dishonesty and silence, I choose to shut-my-mouth/delete-some-of-my-blog.  I guess I’ll have to replace it with some other stuff.  May the scar tissue on my  heart be infinately smaller than that located on my head.  Sticks and stones, baby.  Sticks. And. Stones.  So, with a bit of an emotional hiccup, my saga continues…


  1. Tara, I followed your link from fb and read this post. I had no idea that you have been battling with brain cancer! My heart and my prayers are with you! I plan on catching up on your blog. That being said, I am new to your blog so I don't know the "offending" posts, but it has been my experience in the blogging world that you can never please everybody (haha, also true in life). I have not had mean comments on my blog, but I have felt the repercussions in life from innocent sentences that I wrote in which people have taken offense. I too write as an outlet and I have determined that I am not going to sugarcoat the truth, so if people take offense then I ask them not to read. You have such a big heart and are always so funny and have so much to say (in an intelligent way) and I am so sorry that you have been hurt by mean people. Keep on writing and know that you are loved.

  2. glad you're 'back' tara! and that you had a productive summer. i can't believe people would leave mean comments here :( -jen